Seven Deadly Thoughts

I’ve shared before about my struggles with the temptation to hide my flaws to protect my pride. The sins I’m most eager to be free of are the ones that become apparent in my behaviors because they tarnish my much-beloved image of myself. I focus so much on my outward actions and never go after the thoughts that preceded them: those heart-deep struggles that begin with my very thoughts.

It’s like mowing over weeds but never destroying up the roots: it may look better, but the problem is still there.

We will never truly be like Christ if we seek only to look holy on the outside while our insides are a mess. We have to go into those deep and painful places and allow God to heal them. The key to true freedom is this: “let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think” [Romans 12:2, NLT].

That’s why I’m launching my first blog series! I’m calling it 7 Deadly Thoughts. Beginning next week, I’ll be digging into 7 types of particularly harmful thoughts that rob us of joy, stunt our spiritual growth, and tempt us to sin. Here are the types of “deadly” thoughts I’ll be discussing over the next few weeks:

#1: Prideful - Other people don’t live up to my high standards.

#2: Ungrateful - Why does everyone else seem better off than me?

#3: Merciless - Some people are unworthy of my compassion.

#4: Self-serving - My needs come first.

#5: Fearful - I have to take care of myself, because I can’t trust anyone else.

#6: Victimized - The only way to fix my problem is for someone else to change.

#7: Hopeless - Nothing will ever get better.

I’ll see you on Monday, when we’ll start with prideful thoughts!

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Respond

What kinds of harmful thoughts do you struggle with? Did I miss any?

The American Dream is Not God’s Best for Us

I’m afraid that my idea of what I want God’s plans for my life to look like bear too much of a resemblance to the American Dream: a nice home, a good job, a happy family.

So much of the time, when I talk to God, I’m asking Him to take away some problem or burden in my life (or someone else’s). When I ask him to bless, I imagine health, financial security, and other comforts.

But these are not the best blessings.

Somewhere along the way, God’s Word has been getting mixed up with bits of the prosperity gospel and a touch of those “follow your heart” Disney anthems. I’m tempted to think: God wants to give me the desires of my heart! If I’m a “good Christian” and I have enough faith, the things I pray for will happen!

That is not the Gospel.

Yes, God answers some prayers with physical healing or with financial provision. Sometimes He even gives us more than we need. But even (especially?) when our prayers aren’t answered the way we hoped or expected, God is blessing us because he knows what we need more than we do.

No matter the circumstance, what we always need is more of Him.

When a friend disappoints...

When the pregnancy test comes up negative again...

When the bank account is empty...

When the response to that job application begins “We regret to inform you…”

When the news from the doctor isn’t good...

When we fight through trials of all kinds, God is teaching us to trust Him more, and to be satisfied not by our circumstances, but by Himself. I think that for most people it is the hard times that strengthen our faith the most, not times of plenty. In fact, we’re commanded to rejoice through hardships, because of the good fruit it produces in our lives:

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
James 1:2-4

More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
Romans 5:3-5

God is looking out for more than our immediate happiness. He is planning for our future in eternity, blessing us in ways that will grow our character and make us look more like Christ. His desire is for us to know and be known by Him.

As we pray, instead of asking Him to make difficulties in our lives easier, we can ask Him to reveal how our our current circumstances can draw us nearer to Him. That is where God’s best for us is found.

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Respond

How have you felt God drawing you closer to himself through trials? What ways have you found to help you rejoice in hardships?

Pretending to be Perfect is Hard Work

In the hour before guests come to my house, you will often find me rushing throughout my house, making last-minute preparations to assure that no one will see that we actually live...the way we live.

At our house, the counters and kitchen table are often cluttered with unsorted mail and half-empty (or half-full?) cups. Sweaters are draped over chairs and shoes lie abandoned in the living room. When guests are on the way, I frantically toss coats and shoes in the hall closet instead of taking them upstairs to put them away. I move stacks of papers to the bedroom instead of sorting through them and keeping only what we need. I genuinely work up a little bit of a sweat dashing around trying to make the house “presentable” for other people.

It’s hard work pretending to have it all together.

Although I work really hard to hide it, I know my own failures all too well. I put more work into making people think I’m organized and responsible than...actually getting things organized and being responsible.

Online, it’s easy to hide behind a barrage of cheerful Facebook posts and a slew of Instagram filters and pretend like life is great, like I am great. Still, on the inside, I know that my thoughts can be ugly and my actions are often self-serving. I am acutely aware of my shortcomings, but pride and shame compel me to put more effort into maintaining an admirable image of myself for other people and less into humbling myself and growing in Christlikeness.

Pride and shame might seem like contradictory emotions. Pride gives you and good self-image, and shame gives you a bad one, right? I actually find that they fuel one another. I am too proud to reveal the things that I am ashamed of. My pride leads to fear. Just as I’m afraid that other people would be disgusted to see our house a mess, I also fear that they would be repulsed if they saw the messiness of my heart as well. Worldly wisdom tells me to hide my flaws to protect myself: but God’s Word says something different:

Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy. Proverbs 28:13

When pride tempts us to hide our failures, we are called to confess and forsake our sinful choices so that we are free to receive God's gift of mercy. How many of us really practice this? I'm embarrassed to confess something as frivolous as an untidy house, and now I have to own up to actual sin as well? It seems like a tall order, but it comes with the promise of healing:

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. 
James 5:16

On our own, it's easy to be trapped in the lie that we will never truly be healed of our sins. And while it's true that, this side of eternity, we will continue to struggle with temptation, we can trust in God's mercy, and our faith will be credited to us as righteousness (Romans 4:5). We need other Christians speaking Truth into our lives, encouraging us in the faith, and admonishing us to growing in Christlikeness. That cannot happen when we hide the reality of our sins. We are not called to live in fear and shame, but to seek the Lord and have freedom:

I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed.
Psalm 34:4-5

What an amazing promise! We can become unwavering women, free of fear, when we seek the Lord and look to Him. We will defeat pride and shame by being fearlessly humble, intentionally valuing our righteousness over our reputation. 

I'm definitely going to keep cleaning my house before people come over. It's kind of necessary. Still, I hope that, over time, my motivation will be to create a hospitable environment for my guests, not just to hide what I'm embarrassed about. I also know that it would be unwise to bare my soul to everyone, but my prayer is that God will continue to bring fellow believers into my life who will encourage me to grow in humility and be free from fear. I pray that you will seek and find that in your life as well!

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Respond

Do you ever feel trapped by pride and shame? How have you experienced healing in this area?