How Much Longer?

I’ve spent years asking God to allow me to become a mother. Whether through conception or adoption, the request has always been the same:

God, I'm ready to be a mom.

I’ve prayed those prayers so many times that, In the deepest valleys, it sometimes feels like God isn’t even listening.

Maybe David was feeling the same way about his prayers when he wrote Psalm 13:

“How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?
   How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I take counsel in my soul
   and have sorrow in my heart all the day?”
Psalm 13:1-2

David felt forgotten and abandoned. He was filled with sorrow because it seemed like God was ignoring him in his distress. David's enemies were hunting him down, and he was begging God to deliver him:

"Consider and answer me, O Lord my God;
    light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death,
lest my enemy say, 'I have prevailed over him,'
    lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken."
Psalm 13:3-4

David was fearing for his very life. Perhaps he wrote this psalm when he was fleeing Saul or his son Absalom. Regardless, David had a deep longing for safety and victory. David's desire for good to triumph over evil was a righteous one, yet, his prayers had yet to be answered. He wondered if God had forgotten him. How much longer was it going to take for God to answer?

That’s a feeling I can relate to as I continue to wait for motherhood after four years of praying for children. I know that my desire to be a parent is a good one, so as my prayers remain unanswered,  I sometimes worry that God isn't listening, or has forgotten me. I wonder how much longer it will be before i welcome a child into my home and heart.

You may not have experienced infertility, but you might have another prayer that you have been waiting on God to answer. Maybe you’re hoping for a healed body or a restored relationship. Perhaps you're asking for financial provision or for the salvation of a loved one. Like David, you may find yourself asking: God, have you forgotten about me? Are you even listening?  How much longer do I have to wait?

But David's Psalm doesn't end with anxiety and doubt. Though he is filled with sorrow and fear, David is reassured by meditating on God's love, salvation, and abundant provision:

“But I have trusted in your steadfast love;
   my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
I will sing to the Lord,
   because he has dealt bountifully with me.”
Psalm 13:5-6

In these final verses, David reminded himself of what he already knew of God's character. The remembrance of God's goodness renewed his faith and filled him with joy, even though his prayer was not yet answered.

In the same way, we must meditate on our Creator. We must preach the Gospel to ourselves and fill our hearts with God's word, our faith and joy will return, even when our prayers remain unanswered. 

Our Father in Heaven is merciful, gracious, slow to anger, and overflowing with steadfast love and faithfulness (Exodus 34:6). God's power and righteousness are beyond what we can even fathom, yet still, Christ’s sacrifice on our behalf gives us access to a richly intimate relationship with him. If these realities deeply penetrate our hearts and minds, we will grow to trust him more and have confidence that God’s provision is perfect, even when it seems painfully slow. We may still wonder how much longer until our prayers are answered, but, like David, we will rejoice because we know that we are loved, saved, and abundantly provided for, even as we wait for God.

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Respond

How do you keep the knowledge of God's love, salvation, and provision fresh in your mind and heart throughout your day? How does it impact your attitude toward God and the things you pray for?

 

Embracing Humility When You're Tempted to Judge Others

Welcome to Day 6 of the 7 Deadly Thoughts series! Today’s topic is Victimized Thoughts.

Don’t forget to check out the introduction to this series if you missed it!

#6: Victimized Thoughts

The only way to fix my problem is for someone else to change.

There are few things in life that are more humbling than marriage. I really had little insight into how self-absorbed and prideful I was before I married my husband.

I slowly realized that becoming “one” with my spouse wasn’t a one-time event that happened at the altar. We often disagree on music, movies, what to have for dinner, and what temperature to keep our bedroom at night. Often, and in many ways, our thoughts, feelings, and desires are not in unison. I’m particularly tempted to judge my husband when I feel like housework isn’t being dealt with “equally” (as if that should be the goal...?). So, when the dishes don’t get done in the time and manner that I prefer, I get frustrated and shift the blame for the house being messy. In my head, I play the victim, and I behave as though it’s can’t really be my fault. Somehow, I manage to maintain this delusion, all while sitting next to a small mountain of unfolded laundry from several weeks ago that I haven’t yet bothered with.

“‘Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.’”
Matthew 7:1-5

Gulp.

It’s so easy to see and judge another person’s shortcomings while ignoring our own failures. We do it in all of our relationships: with friends, family, coworkers, and strangers. Let’s not fool ourselves into thinking that this is anything less than pervasive, callous sinfulness. It is pride, vanity, and unrepentance. May God help when we become so comfortable in our own depravity that we don’t even see it!

“If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
1 John 1:8-9

Our grief over our transgressions should change our hearts, turn us from sin, and remind us of the mercy that God has lavished upon us through Christ. When was the last time you felt truly humbled? Were you humbled enough to repent and commit to change,  or were you just disappointed and defeated? Did you make excuses and feel hopeless about your ability to change, or were you overwhelmed by God's grace and mercy, knowing you have freedom from sin?

When we remember what Christ has saved us from, humility will be woven into every word and deed, even when others sin against us. Whether we are moved to “cover over” or confront these sins in other believers, every interaction will be saturated in grace and mercy.

“One's pride will bring him low, but he who is lowly in spirit will obtain honor.”  
Proverbs 29:23

Where false pride will make us look foolish, humility will never leave us ashamed.

For Further Study

“The Worst Marriage Advice I Ever Received” by Sarah from The Orthodox Mama.

“When to Cover, When to Confront” by Ray Ortlund for The Gospel Coalition.

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Respond

What sins are you quick to judge in others, while being guilty of them yourself? How do you cultivate a spirit of humility in word and deed?