How Much Longer?

I’ve spent years asking God to allow me to become a mother. Whether through conception or adoption, the request has always been the same:

God, I'm ready to be a mom.

I’ve prayed those prayers so many times that, In the deepest valleys, it sometimes feels like God isn’t even listening.

Maybe David was feeling the same way about his prayers when he wrote Psalm 13:

“How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?
   How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I take counsel in my soul
   and have sorrow in my heart all the day?”
Psalm 13:1-2

David felt forgotten and abandoned. He was filled with sorrow because it seemed like God was ignoring him in his distress. David's enemies were hunting him down, and he was begging God to deliver him:

"Consider and answer me, O Lord my God;
    light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death,
lest my enemy say, 'I have prevailed over him,'
    lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken."
Psalm 13:3-4

David was fearing for his very life. Perhaps he wrote this psalm when he was fleeing Saul or his son Absalom. Regardless, David had a deep longing for safety and victory. David's desire for good to triumph over evil was a righteous one, yet, his prayers had yet to be answered. He wondered if God had forgotten him. How much longer was it going to take for God to answer?

That’s a feeling I can relate to as I continue to wait for motherhood after four years of praying for children. I know that my desire to be a parent is a good one, so as my prayers remain unanswered,  I sometimes worry that God isn't listening, or has forgotten me. I wonder how much longer it will be before i welcome a child into my home and heart.

You may not have experienced infertility, but you might have another prayer that you have been waiting on God to answer. Maybe you’re hoping for a healed body or a restored relationship. Perhaps you're asking for financial provision or for the salvation of a loved one. Like David, you may find yourself asking: God, have you forgotten about me? Are you even listening?  How much longer do I have to wait?

But David's Psalm doesn't end with anxiety and doubt. Though he is filled with sorrow and fear, David is reassured by meditating on God's love, salvation, and abundant provision:

“But I have trusted in your steadfast love;
   my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
I will sing to the Lord,
   because he has dealt bountifully with me.”
Psalm 13:5-6

In these final verses, David reminded himself of what he already knew of God's character. The remembrance of God's goodness renewed his faith and filled him with joy, even though his prayer was not yet answered.

In the same way, we must meditate on our Creator. We must preach the Gospel to ourselves and fill our hearts with God's word, our faith and joy will return, even when our prayers remain unanswered. 

Our Father in Heaven is merciful, gracious, slow to anger, and overflowing with steadfast love and faithfulness (Exodus 34:6). God's power and righteousness are beyond what we can even fathom, yet still, Christ’s sacrifice on our behalf gives us access to a richly intimate relationship with him. If these realities deeply penetrate our hearts and minds, we will grow to trust him more and have confidence that God’s provision is perfect, even when it seems painfully slow. We may still wonder how much longer until our prayers are answered, but, like David, we will rejoice because we know that we are loved, saved, and abundantly provided for, even as we wait for God.


Respond

How do you keep the knowledge of God's love, salvation, and provision fresh in your mind and heart throughout your day? How does it impact your attitude toward God and the things you pray for?

 

Giving Thanks for the LIttle Things

Welcome to Day 2 of the 7 Deadly Thoughts series! Today we’ll be covering Ungrateful Thoughts.

Don’t forget to check out the introduction to this series if you missed it!

#2: Ungrateful Thoughts

Why does everyone else seem better off than me?

Theodore Roosevelt said it well: “Comparison is the thief of joy.”

Comparison takes everything good in our life and makes it seems small, inadequate, dissatisfying, and disappointing. It tempts us to sin by robbing us of the joy we should have from the abundance that God has given. Christians are not called to wallow in self-pity, envy, and ungratefulness when we’re disappointed, but to rejoice, pray, and give thanks in everything:

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

And sometimes it feels impossible.

When deep fears and disappointments are dominating our thoughts, when our dreams crumble before our very eyes, and when hope seems out of reach: gratitude feels impossible.

But the bounty of God’s love for us is always greater than the poverty of our present circumstances.

But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life.
Titus 3:4-7

What an awe-inspiring, mind-blowing gift! Often I’m guilty of being too casual in my response to the Gospel. As someone who grew up in the Church, it’s all too easy for me to take for granted that the perfect, sinless Son of God took our punishment upon himself and died in my place.

Amazingly, gratitude in small things seems to be the key to a life filled with gratitude in spite of everything.

Gratitude for little blessings (the sweet smell of rain, the Chickadee perched on my fence, the warmth of a cup of coffee early in the morning) reminds me of the small ways that God reveals His love for me throughout every day. These small reminders prepare me to be overwhelmed by the huge, glorious mercy of Christ’s death and resurrection.

"Overwhelmed" by Big Daddy Weave


Respond

How do you redirect your thoughts to thankfulness when you’re tempted to be ungrateful?

Choosing Gratitude When You Feel Like Grumbling

This article was originally featured on the Gresham Bible Church blog in May 2015.
 

I feel like I’ve lived the great majority of my life in a prison of my own making. Even after becoming a Christian, moments of true freedom may be interspersed among days and weeks being held captive by my own fear and anxiety.

Will I ever get married?

Will I ever find a job?

Will we ever be able to have kids?

Will I ever feel healthy?

Will we ever be able to afford adoption?

The questions change, but the underlying fear stays the same: Is God taking care of me, really?

Sometimes my fear snowballs into frustration, grumbling, and even anger. When my circumstances don’t match my expectations I feel that I’ve been wronged. I believe that life owes me something, or maybe even that God does.

At times, such thoughts have brought me to the end of myself, and to the brink of desperation. I begin to feel hopeless. Prayer feels pointless when God doesn’t seem to be answering.

It was at one of these low points in my life, when I felt that God had turned his back on me, that He used a dear friend of mine and an excellent book to change my perspective forever.

Last April, my best friend gave me Ann Voskamp’s book One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are as a gift for my birthday. I was excited to dive into it, but my long reading list (#Englishteacherproblems) meant I didn’t start it for a few months. It was perfect timing.

I was at low point; a deep hopelessness had settled over me as I realized that after two years of unsuccessfully attempting to get pregnant, my husband and I were no nearer to becoming parents than we had been when we first started trying. This was even after pursuing costly fertility treatments with zero results.

Reading Voskamp’s book opened my eyes to the ways that discontentment, anxiety, fear, and anger rob me of the joy that God wants to graciously lavish on me. These feelings will lead me down the dark path, and eventually, into sin. The solution? Voskamp calls it eucharisteo: thanksgiving.  She writes,  “…life change comes when we receive life with thanks and ask for nothing to change.” The solution to my problems has never been a change in my circumstances, but a change in my attitude. My life is transformed when I alter the way I think (Romans 12:2), by approaching life with gratitude instead of dissatisfaction.

In fact, Voskamp compellingly concludes that the simple act of counting our blessings (yes, even writing them down) opens us up to satisfaction in God. In good times, this is simple and natural. When things get rough, when the nursery is as empty as my wounded heart, God is still deserving of my praise. Even when my circumstances don’t change and gratitude is hard, God calls me to give thanks: “While I may not always feel joy, God asks me to give thanks in all things, because He knows that the feeling of joy begins in the action of thanksgiving” (Voskamp).

When I choose to demand my own way by stubbornly clinging to my prior expectations, I am choosing to live without joy. Voskamp puts it this way: “The demanding of my own will is the singular force that smothers out joy—nothing else”. True joy and satisfaction didn’t come from getting married or finding a great job, and it won’t come from finally becoming a mom. The only thing that can fully satisfy me is doing what I was created to do: bringing glory to God through a constant attitude of gratitude, because “Our endless desires are fulfilled in endless God” (Voskamp).

Reading One Thousand Gifts helped to pull me out of a dark time. It revealed a huge area of weakness in my life, not with shame or condemnation, but with hope and encouragement to live a richer, fuller life going forward. I’m not perfectly walking the path of gratitude, but I hope that my story can be an encouragement to others to join me in abandoning our self-made prisons and choosing gratitude.


Respond

How have your prior expectations robbed you of your present joy? Gratitude helps me fight that temptation. What about you?