A Prayer to Desire God’s Word

As a teacher, fall is the time of year when my schedule begins to spiral out of control. I look at my to-do list and cringe; how can I get all of this done and still maintain some semblance of sanity? The months of September through December will speed past in a flurry of activity at work, at church, and in my home. In the blink of an eye, 2016 will be over.

With so much to be done, it’s easy for my priorities to get out of whack and for urgent and emergent needs to take precedence over the quietly persistent call to refresh my soul in God’s Word.

A few weeks ago, my husband and I found out that we’d been matched to adopt a child. Three days later, I went back to work to begin preparing for the new academic year. I’ve been consumed by a flurry of activity, and my time in Scripture has been (to put it nicely) haphazard as I struggle to fall into the rhythm of being back at work for the next three months.

I wish I had a never-fail, five-step plan for realigning priorities when life is overscheduled chaos, but I don’t. Based on past experience, I know that no amount of determination or “buckling down” will cause my rebellious heart to adore God and treasure His Word above all else.

By nature, sinful humans do not desire the things of God. We were dead in our trespasses and sins, and “by nature children of wrath” (Ephesians 2:1-3), yet God mercifully redeemed us by the blood of Christ to give us new life:

But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ . . . 
Ephesians 2:4-5

It is only when believers receive the Holy Spirit that they are capable of desiring God as they should. The indwelling of the Holy Spirit changes our nature and very desires to conform us to the image of Christ (Romans 8:26-29). Still, it’s a process. I am yet being sanctified, and my flesh is at war with the Spirit in me (Galatians 5:17).  When I’m feeling overwhelmed and struggle with wrong priorities, what I need the most is more of the Holy Spirit to change my desires. I can’t muster up enough love and adoration on my own. I need to pray for an infusion of Christlikeness so that I will crave life-giving communion with God through His Word. It’s a prayer I know he will answer because Jesus already guaranteed it:

“If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”
Luke 11:13

Today, if you’re experiencing a drought of desire for any reason, pray with me:

Merciful Father, I come before you today, humbled by my weakness. I’m so easily distracted by the priorities of this world, most of which have no eternal value. It’s too easy for me to rob myself of your life-giving presence by making time for anything and everything else before I spend time in your Word. Thank you for sending your Son to free me from the prison of the sinful desires of my flesh. Fill me with your Holy Spirit to continue the good work you began in me, reshaping me to be like Christ. Transform my heart to crave your Word, to your glory. Amen.

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Respond

Is this a prayer you need today? What scriptures give you encouragement as you wait for God to answer this prayer?

Freedom from Perfectionism

I’ve been a perfectionist for as long as I can remember. I love planners, to-do lists, and all types of organizing. I feel best when there is a place for everything, and everything is put in its place. I was the little girl who set an itinerary of fun activities for her own birthday party (which I planned out months in advance) and would become nearly despondent if the festivities got off-schedule. 

As much as I enjoyed school when I was younger, I have a feeling that academics sometimes brought out the worst of my perfectionistic tendencies. After struggling academically through elementary school and most of middle school, I eventually found my “sweet spot” and began to excel. Sadly, I also began to equate my success in school with my worth as a person. 

Now, as a grown woman, I still fight the temptation to define myself by my performance. I do it in my faith and in my roles as a wife, a teacher, a writer, and soon-to-be mother. I want everything I do to be perfect, or, at the very least, to appear that way whenever possible. If I stumble or fail in any of these areas, I feel worthless and unlovable. In my head, I know better, but a part of my heart still believes that other people, and even God, will abandon me if I fail. I push myself to excel and rush to hide my mistakes as the twin sins of pride and shame duke it out for top place in my heart. 

Maybe you’ve felt that way before too.

If you have, then you know that that kind of dogged perfectionism only leads to burnout and disappointment, and you’re probably about as sick of it as I am. 

So, how do we let go?

We must fight the lies of perfectionism with three vital truths from God’s Word: all believers are saved by faith, perfected in Christ, and perfectly loved, 

Saved by Faith

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.
Ephesians 2:8-10

While it’s true that God’s standard of holiness is perfection (Matthew 5:48), He has lovingly granted it to sinners through grace, knowing we could never attain it by our own effort. Jesus’ perfect righteousness is a gift freely given to us through faith alone. While we are still called to live in obedience to God through our good works, doing all things as unto Christ (Colossians 3:23), our salvation is already secure in Him. 

Perfected in Christ

For by a single offering he has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified.
Hebrews 10:14

Although we are still being shaped to be like Christ (sanctified), and will still struggle with sin in this lifetime, perfect righteousness is ours forever. Jesus’ death and resurrection has completely satisfied the debt of our sins, forever. We are beloved, blameless sons and daughters of God, and our status before the Father can never change. 

Perfectly Loved

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.
1 John 4:18-19

God’s love is secure and strong beyond anything we have ever experienced in our earthly relationships. The love God has for us is unchanging, so we have no reason to fear when we sin. When we approach God with a humble, repentant heart, He will not cast us away, but faithfully and justly forgive our sins and make us clean (1 John 1:9). We are perfectly loved by our just and gracious Father.  

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This time of year, school is starting and activities are ramping up again. For me, the "fresh start" of the new school year presents an awful temptation to fall into more perfectionism. I set high standards for myself to make my home, classroom, and relationships better than they were last year, and as close to perfect as possible.

Your circumstances are probably different than mine, but you may be in the same boat. The temptation of perfectionism is threatening to rob you of the joy you have in Christ. If you're struggling with that now, join me in this prayer:

Precious Father, I am humbled by your love and mercy. I am so full of pride and shame when I give in to perfectionism. I want other people to think well of me, and I want to hide all of my flaws. I allow anxiety and fear to take control, forgetting your goodness. Thank you for sending your Son to redeem me from my sin so that I can live as your beloved daughter. Open my eyes to the places where perfectionism is lurking in my heart. Give me a desire to work hard and serve you with obedience, not because I'm afraid of punishment, or to make myself look good for other people, but because I love you. Amen.

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Respond

What other Biblical truths help you resist the temptation of perfectionism? How do you remind yourself of them?

Beyond What We Could Ask or Imagine

Hours before we found out we had been matched to adopt a baby boy due in December, my husband and I sat in our nursery and prayed over our adoption. We prayed for the birth mom we were presenting to and for her child. We asked that we would have peace about her decision, whatever it was, and we trusted that God’s plan for us was better than anything we could ask for or imagine (Ephesians 3:20).

We had prayed together about our adoption on many, many occasions before, but somehow that time was different.

It may seem that way, I suppose.

Because the outcome appears to be different, it may seem that our prayers must have been more eloquent and effective than they had been before, and so God finally answered them.

But God is greater than that.

God has never forgotten us or our prayer to become parents. He heard our prayers before we even knew to pray them (Isaiah 65:24), and has been answering them, one step at a time, all along. He’s also been doing more than we knew to ask, teaching us to trust Him and making us more like Christ.

Our painful journey to parenthood is teaching us to pray “Thy will be done” and really mean it. We’re finally starting to catch on to the fact that His wisdom is perfect (Isaiah 55:8), and His plans are for our good and not to harm us:

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.
Jeremiah 29:11-13

Without our help, in His mysterious, all-knowing, all-powerful way, God has been accomplishing His will while still allowing us to participate through our prayers. He does so for His glory and the strengthening of our faith, making us more like Christ.

Each and every “no” by moms viewing our profile has been a part of the loving act of provision from our Father, leading us to the birth mom who would choose us, and the child we will welcome into our family. In the end, I know that He will have given me so much more than a child to call my own. Every “no” leading up to (what I hope is) the final “yes” has led me on a powerful path of sanctification. The gift of God Himself is the greatest of all.

December feels far, far away. These next three months will mark a new phase of patient, faith-filled waiting as we walk alongside the birth mom who chose us. We are grateful and excited, yet hold loosely to this placement, knowing things still may change. All we can do is love on this amazing woman and trust that God will continue to accomplish His purpose in our lives, to his glory.

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Respond

How do you perceive God answering your prayers in ways beyond what you could ask or think? How has this impacted your faith?