Has Your Mouth Run Amok?

As soon as the words left my mouth, I wished I could reach out and grab them out of the air to drag them back.

A wave of dread washed over me as I saw my words had already hit their mark. I knew I had been too harsh. I tried to backtrack, to rephrase things more kindly, but the damage was done. I had been thoughtless. No amount of regret could completely erase the hurt I had caused.

Some of my biggest regrets involve words I wish I’d never said. When I think back to those incidents, it’s like being transported through time: I’m filled with as much dread, shame, and embarrassment as the day the words escaped from my lips.

I’m certain I’m not the only one.

Although it’s probably true of some more than others, we all regret certain things we’ve said in the past. Maybe what we said was hurtful to another person, or perhaps we just sounded silly and embarrassed ourselves. We’ve also probably been on the receiving end of thoughtless words on more than one occasion. In any case, all of us know the power of an untamed tongue.

Scripture makes it clear that our words are important to God. Words are a barometer of the heart, and we can either use them for destruction or encouragement, for worship or for cursing. James 3, in particular, does not mince words when it comes to the danger presented by a mouth run amok, but it also provides hope for believers to grow in this area.

Destructive + Dishonoring

The tongue is a small part of the body, yet still powerful in its ability to guide the rest of the body: even to disaster (v. 2-5). James compares the tongue to a blazing fire, a stubborn stain, an untamable beast, and a poison (v. 6-8). Without restraint, our words will quickly get out of our control and damage our reputation and relationships with others. We also dishonor God when we use our mouths for both blessing and cursing. Our evil, thoughtless words pollute our praise:

With it [the tongue] we bless our Lord and Father, and with it, we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and saltwater?
James 3:9-11

As a dear friend of mine amusingly put it, this is the Bible’s way of saying: “You kiss your mama with that mouth?!”, except instead of disrespecting our mother, we're disrespecting God. Thoughtless words directed at God’s image-bearers not only hurt the hearer but also offend the one who created them. For the believer, that should be a deeply sobering statement.

It’s obvious we’re meant to take these warnings to tame our tongues very seriously. But how?

At first glance, it may seem like James isn’t being very helpful at all. In verses 2 and 8, he basically promises that it’s impossible for a sinful human being to flawlessly control the tongue.

Thanks, James. That sounds pretty hopeless.

Thankfully, the remainder of the chapter reveals the cause of imprudent speech to lead the reader to the cure.

Cause + Cure

Verses 13-16 contrast selfish ambition and humble wisdom. Respectively, they are the cause and the cure of foolish words.

An unrestrained tongue is evidence of a self-seeking heart. Such a heart will pour out boasting and lies and eventually lead to disaster and “every vile practice” (v. 16). Our words are a measure of the health of our hearts because that is where they begin. When we allow sinful desires (like selfish ambition) to fester in our hearts, disgusting, evil words will pour out of our mouths. But, when our hearts cherish wisdom and righteousness, our words will be characterized by goodness:

The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.
Luke 6:24

Where evil, thoughtless words come from a selfish heart, godly words come from godly wisdom. That wisdom is a gift that comes from God above, who reveals it to us through Scripture and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. Wisdom leads to an abundance of righteousness:

But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.
James 3:17-18

Wisdom makes itself known in actions and words that are characterized by purity, peace, reasonableness, mercy, good fruit, impartiality, and sincerity. When we humbly seek to bring peace instead of conflict, the result will be bountiful righteousness expressed in our words and deeds.

I don’t know about you, but I continue to mess up in this area, even though I’ve been a believer for most of my life. Even as Christians, we still speak before we think and wish we could take back our words. We may also feel the sting of thoughtless comments directed at us from believing brothers and sisters. In those times, we must remember that God’s love and mercy are without end, and are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23). We should be quick to repent when we allow sin to take root in our hearts and spill out in our words. We must also readily forgive our brothers and sisters in Christ who injure us with their words, as God forgives us, knowing that they have the same spiritual battles to fight that we do.

Jesus’ death on the cross cleanses us of all unrighteousness, including our sinful words. His sacrifice gives us access to God the Father, who will generously grant us wisdom when we ask for it (James 1:5). Because of Jesus, we are also filled with the Holy Spirit, who changes our very hearts and desires to be more like Christ. This enables us to turn wisdom into God-honoring words and actions.

As God continues to transform us into the likeness of Christ, His Word, and the Holy Spirit will fill us with wisdom that pervades everything we say and do.

Father, thank you for the powerful gift of our words. So often, we have used them unwisely. We repent with humility because we have used our mouths to hurt others and dishonor you. Thank you for sending your Son to redeem us, so that we can receive forgiveness. Please use your Holy Word to fill us with wisdom, and send us wise teachers who we can learn from. Fill us with your Holy Spirit so that we can grow in wisdom that makes itself known in our words and deeds. Let the things we say and do be characterized by purity, peace, gentleness, reason, mercy, fruitfulness, impartiality, and sincerity, so that we may reap a harvest of righteousness in peace for your glory. Make us more like Christ, especially in our words, so that our lives become an act of worship that glorifies you. Amen.