How Can Christians Love Their Neighbors in Tragedy?

I had a different topic in mind for today’s post, but recent events have compelled me to put that on the back burner until later this week. Although it is not my intention to regularly comment on current events, I will not ignore a tragedy that is so profoundly impacting this country as a whole, and many of my friends in particular.

It cannot be denied that the relationship between the LGBTQ community and the Church is, sadly, characterized by mutual hurt. Upon much reflection, I can’t help but be reminded of the Biblical conflict between the Jews and the Samaritans. Jesus used their conflict as the backdrop for his teachings on how Christians are to love others; it’s a lesson I believe we need to remember in light of this tragedy.

During the time of Jesus’ Earthly ministry, the conflict between the Jews and the Samaritans was already hundreds of years old. These two groups were bitterly divided over politics, culture, and religion, and many of them despised one another. This situation is sadly familiar to us.

One day, when Jesus was teaching, a Jewish lawyer began to question him about God’s law. He rightly understood that the way to eternal life was to love God above all, and to love one’s neighbors. He wanted clarification from Jesus on exactly who counted as his “neighbor” (Luke 10:25-29). He hoped that Jesus answer would affirm what he was already doing, "justify" him, so that he could be assured of eternal life while limiting which people he actually was supposed to be loving toward. Jesus responded with a parable that most will find familiar: the Good Samaritan.


Jesus replied, “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell among robbers, who stripped him and beat him and departed, leaving him half dead. Now by chance a priest was going down that road, and when he saw him he passed by on the other side. So likewise a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he journeyed, came to where he was, and when he saw him, he had compassion. He went to him and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he set him on his own animal and brought him to an inn and took care of him. And the next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper, saying, ‘Take care of him, and whatever more you spend, I will repay you when I come back.’ Which of these three, do you think, proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers?” He said, “The one who showed him mercy.” And Jesus said to him, “You go, and do likewise.” Luke 10:30-37
 

In spite of the bitter conflict between their two cultures, the Samaritan man was a “neighbor” to the Jewish man: he was moved with compassion and stepped in when others would not. His actions went beyond triage, as he faithfully provided for the victim’s care until healing was complete.

When the Samaritan saw the Jewish man lying in the road, he did not look to it as an opportunity for the two of them to discuss why conflict existed between them. He simply had compassion and helped. Likewise, now is not the time to divide up blame or discuss the whys and wherefores of conflict between the Church and the gay community. Instead, now is the time for Christians to prayerfully seek opportunities to reach out to a hurting community, For Christians, the Samaritan man should be our example: compassion and mercy should be the defining characteristic of the love we show to all of our neighbors. Our disagreements over politics, culture, and religion must take a back seat to Jesus’ clear command for us to “go, and do likewise,” We must love those who are hurting, and, right now, the LGBTQ community is hurting.

So how should we love these particular neighbors in this particular crisis? There is plenty of information available already that can do a better job than I can of telling you how you can donate funds and material resources to the survivors of the attack and their families. I’ll let the major news networks help you with that. Instead, I want to focus on two simple things that you can do to help wherever you are: pray and reach out to affected friends and neighbors.

Pray

In response to the attack in Orlando, consider praying these things:

  • For victims and their families: that they would find comfort and hope in their grief.

  • For the LGBTQ community: that they would receive compassion and kindness from others, and not live in fear because of hate. 

  • For the Muslim community: that peace-loving Muslims would be protected from hateful violence at the hands of people who would blame them for the senseless actions of a radical and unstable man, particularly as they continue to celebrate Ramadan.

  • For yourself: that you would have wisdom to speak and act in ways that show the love of Christ to a hurting world.

Reach Out to Affected Friends and Neighbors

If you, like me, live on the other side of the country from Orlando, you may feel like there isn’t much you can do to help the victims of this attack beyond sending money to charitable organizations that are mobilizing to assist in the healing process. I won’t diminish the importance of financial generosity here: donate if you are able! Still, the impact of this event reaches far beyond Florida: there are many people in our local communities who are afraid and in pain because of that act of terror. It is our duty to help care for them.

Make it a point to extend compassion to friends and neighbors who are mourning or fearful because of the attack. Whether you simply send them a note or small gift or invite them out for coffee or a meal, find a way to express to them that you are thinking of and praying for them. Listen as much as possible. Encourage wherever appropriate. Pray without ceasing.


Respond

How do you feel led to respond to this tragedy? How are you praying for and reaching out to those who have been impacted by the attack?

When God Says, “No.”

During this phase of the domestic adoption process, my husband and I are in limbo as we wait to be matched with a child to adopt. Sometimes we are waiting to find the right situation to have our family profile presented to. Those are the times of quiet discouragement, when I feel like we’re making no progress toward parenthood, and wonder how long it will be until we present our profile again.

Less frequently, we’re waiting to hear back about whether a potential birth family has picked us to parent their child. Those days are torn between hope and fear. I feel hopeful because of little similarities I noticed between myself and the birth mom, or how closely I think we fit her description of an ideal family for her child. Maybe this is it! Maybe we’ll finally be chosen! I check my phone and email obsessively, ready to receive “the call” if it comes. Still, a large part of me is very afraid, because I know there’s a good chance I’ll be let down again. Fear whispers in the back of my mind: What if we never get picked at all? 

Our profile has been presented eight different times without being picked, and right now we’re waiting to hear back on a situation we presented to last week, knowing that the answer may again be “no.” We’ve been praying to become parents for so many years, at the worst times, it feels like the only answer we ever get from God is "no."

In those times, I am tempted to feel discouraged about prayer. Knowing that God is fully sovereign, prayer may seem futile because I know that God’s will always prevails, even without my prayers. Still, the Word makes it clear that God delights in hearing and responding to our prayers, just as loving parents care for their children:

“And I tell you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent; or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit* to those who ask him!” 
Luke 11:8-9

If God really enjoys giving good gifts to his children, why does he so often say no to our requests? 

There are different kinds of no's, and while they may initially make us feel the same sense of disappointment, they are all signs of God’s love and care for his children: 

The Loving No: "I love you too much.”

The things we ask God for aren’t as good as we’d like to think they are. If you are anything like me, you can think of several occasions when God has saved you from your own foolish desires. In retrospect, we are grateful, but at the time, we were overcome. We are like little kids who cry and throw tantrums because their parents won’t let them play with light sockets and hot stoves. We’re like the child in Jesus’ parable, but we’re accidentally asking for scorpions, not realizing the danger they pose to us. Unknowingly, we may be praying for something that would be unhealthy for us, and God is graciously denying our request for our own good.

“He will not let your foot be moved;
    he who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, he who keeps Israel
    will neither slumber nor sleep.”
Psalm 121:3-4

The Waiting No: “Not yet.”

God’s timing is often different from what we hope or expect. When we pray, he may require us to wait because the circumstances are not yet right: the job we need is not open, or we have not even met the person we are supposed to marry. We may also need to wait because he is preparing our hearts for the next step in his plan.

When it comes to our long road to parenthood, I think God has been preparing my heart to become a godly mother, even as he is lovingly orchestrating the circumstances of our adoption. The waiting is hard, but I believe that the waiting is shaping me into the kind of mother our future children will need: a mom who hopes in the Lord 

As I reflect on our journey to parenthood thus far, I see God at work in my heart. Particularly in the past year, God has been using this period of waiting to teach me how to trust him. Through heartache and tears, he’s shown me that, ultimately, I have always relied on everything and anything other than Him for my happiness. I have looked for satisfaction in my circumstances, putting my hope in deep friendships, happy marriage, financial security, and becoming a mother. Pastor Colin Smith sums up my problem perfectly: “If God is not enough for you, nothing will ever be enough for you.” Nothing has ever been enough, because I have never allowed God to be enough.

I want to be the kind of woman, and the kind of mother, who can truly say:

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”
Psalm 73:26

“‘The LORD is my portion,’ says my soul, ‘therefore I will hope in him.’”
Lamentation 3:24

The Hard No: “Trust me.”

Sometimes God’s answer really is “No,” not because what we request is bad for us, or because the timing is wrong, but because he has a different plan. We may have to give up on a long-cherished dream, suffer with disease, or lose loved ones. These no's from God hurt; they may cause our faith to waver when disillusionment creeps in where God's comfort should be. Still, he seeks to reassure us. The consolation he provides is the reminder of his benevolent, perfect wisdom:

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
Isaiah 55:8-9

Really, isn't this our comfort regardless of how God answers ours prayers? When we pray, we can be sure that God hears us, and that his response will always be loving and gracious. When we come to him with specific requests, we can be sure that his  "yes", "no", or "not yet" will always be the best answer, because God's wisdom and understanding so greatly surpass our own. 
 

Related Resources:
John Piper for Desiring God: “Prevailing Prayer for the Spirit’s Power” and “When God Says Not Now.” 


Respond

How do you remind yourself of God's goodness when your prayers are answered differently than you'd hoped? What passages most reassure you of God's unending love and provision as you wait on Him in faith?