3 Things to Remember When You Feel Like a Failure

Have you ever had one of those days where you feel like you can’t do anything right? 

It always seems to happen when you’re completely overwhelmed by all that you need to accomplish in one day. The laundry pile is taller than you are. The dishes are overflowing from the sink. Little bits of goodness-knows-what stick to your feet as you walk across your unswept, unmopped kitchen floor. Every bit of table and counter space is covered with random objects that need to be put away.  You really want to knuckle down and clean the house from top to bottom, but there are errands to run and you still need to make dinner at some point.

As you’re bustling around your home trying to get things done, one wrong move on your part sends full kettle of water off the counter and onto the floor

Water is everywhere. You find yourself cursing at an inanimate object. Still, you sop up the mess and try to move on with your day.

Not ten minutes later, it happens again

That exact same kettle falls to the floor. There’s water everywhere, and something just snaps inside of you. You can’t do anything right. You’re a failure.

Well, that’s how I felt, anyway, when this exact scenario played out in my home last week.

I beat myself down for failing to meet my own, unrealistic standards of what a responsible, organized woman should be able to manage. As usual, I believed that every other woman I know has her life together, and I will never measure up. 

Thankfully, over the last few days, God has used some lovely friends to remind me that all women feel like this in different ways in all seasons of life. Often, we believe that we have failed as women, wives, or mothers. We think that we will never get things right in our homes, careers, or ministries. 

At this point, you might be expecting some encouragement along the lines of “Don’t be so hard on yourself! You don’t have to be perfect!”, but that’s not quite what I’m after today.

While I think reasonable expectations are absolutely necessary, limiting our focus to that kind of practical advice may cause us to miss out on how God can use our feelings of failure to make us more like Christ. 

When we feel like we can’t do anything right, our hope doesn’t lie in embracing the chaos or in being trapped by unhealthy perfectionism. When we fail, we’re presented with an opportunity to humbly find our place before God, who is rich in mercy and brings glory to Himself through our weakness.

Our Failures Humble Us

When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom. Proverbs 11:2

Pride is a dangerous temptation that we struggle with on good days and bad. It’s easy for pride to creep into our hearts when life is running smoothly. In those moments, we’re quick to forget our need for God. We arrogantly accept credit for success without acknowledging God’s faithful provision. 

On the bad days, when our lives are disorganized and our homes are a disaster, we can be more wrapped up in worry that others will see our failures than we are concerned about conquering the actual mess. We’d rather hide the clean laundry behind a closed bedroom door than actually fold it and put it away. We want our friends and family to think we’re better than we actually are.

Whatever the state of our homes on a given day, the main problem is the state of our hearts. When we measure our value based on how others will perceive the way we look, speak, behave, and manage our homes, we have given pride a foothold in our souls. We need God to bless us with humble wisdom. We must remember that we are flawed, imperfect beings who have nothing to offer to our infinite, perfect God. We are wise when we humbly acknowledge that reality and don’t allow pride to puff us up. 

God is Merciful to the Weak

But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life. Titus 3:4-7

No matter how excellently we work at our jobs, serve in our ministries, raise our children, or manage our homes, we will never do it well enough to impress God. We will always fail in some way, and need His strength to get through each day. What a humbling reality.

Still, we have reason to celebrate! Although we are weak and helpless, God does not leave us in that sorry state. In His mercy, He perfectly covers over our many mistakes with the blood of His Son and allows us to enter into a relationship with Him.

We were sick and wretched, trapped in our sin, yet He mercifully redeemed us. He tended to us in our weakness, cleansing and renewing us by His blood and through the gift of the Holy Spirit. Even though we fail time and time again, we have the hope of eternity because of His mercy. 

God Uses Our Weakness to Showcase His Glory

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.  2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Our failures remind us that it is foolish to attempt to live a God-honoring life in our own strength. We can’t do it on our own, and, thankfully, we don’t have to! The power Christ offers us can’t fully rest upon us until we come to the end of ourselves. God’s glory can only be perfectly displayed through our lives when we humbly acknowledge our weakness and surrender control to Him.

When we surrender our wills to God, the Holy Spirit equips us with power beyond ourselves to live and serve to His glory. We are granted endless love and joy, unfailing peace and patience, boundless kindness and goodness, and perfect faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. All these things are given to us beyond what we could ever muster up on our own. 


The next time you feel like a failure, take a moment to check your heart. Are you falling into a trap of pride? Ask God to give you wise humility. Thank Him for His mercy to you in your imperfection, and ask Him to replace your weakness with His strength. 

Here’s a simple prayer to get you started:

Gracious Father, today, I feel like a failure. Everything I do seems to be going wrong. I feel like I don’t measure up. God, help me not to give in to foolish pride. Give me wisdom to humbly acknowledge my shortcomings instead of pretending to be better than I really am. Remind me of your gracious mercy to me in my weakness and move my heart to praise you. Use my weakness to remind me of my need for you. Give me a desire to surrender my will to you for your glory. Amen.


Respond

How do you embrace humility and stamp out pride, both on good days and "epic fail" days? How have you seen God use your weakness to showcase His glory?

Abundant Life in a World That’s Falling Apart

Anyone else feel like the world is falling apart a little bit?

Tragedy upon tragedy. Grief upon grief. 

The world has held its collective breath as we’ve watched communities torn apart--both locally and globally. 

The pain is palpable. 

We cannot help but be shaken by the malice and violence that is playing out on various stages around the world. Hatred seems to have a vise grip on sin-stained humanity.

A thief has come to “steal and kill and destroy” and we are afraid of what is next. Of who is next. 

When everything seems to be going wrong, it’s hard not to give in to despair. It feels impossible to trust in God's faithfulness when we can't see where a good and loving God fits with our pain and fear. 

Today, you might be afraid for your life or the life of someone you love. You may be feeling insecure financially, and wonder how you’re going to make ends meet. Perhaps your relationships are tenuous and insecure, or you feel completely alone. Maybe your hoped-for, prayed-for, dream feels just out of reach, and you wonder if it will ever happen at all.

Whatever you’re afraid of today, as a believer, you can find hope in this promise from Jesus:

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.  John 10:10-11

While Satan hopes to destroy us, Jesus came to give us abundant life. That kind of life cannot be tarnished by sorrow and pain. It cannot be stolen by age and disease. 

This abundant life doesn’t revolve around finite possessions or accomplishments: those cannot last. Abundant life is an eternity-oriented hope that is grounded in the Gospel. It is only accessible through the Good Shepherd, who laid down His life on our behalf.

When we’re overtaken by anxiety, we have to hold on to the truth that everything we have is a blessing: an undeserved gift from God. He doesn't owe us safety, security, or comfort. Based on our merit, we've earned only punishment from Him, but, instead, He graciously offers us freedom from sin and eternal life through Christ. That is the greatest blessing that cannot be taken from the believer, even when difficult circumstances strip away everything else we cherish.

When our lives are grounded in God’s faithfulness, we have nothing to fear. We belong to the Lord:

Know that the Lord, he is God!
    It is he who made us, and we are his;
    we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.
Psalm 100:3

Doesn’t that just bring joy to your heart? As believers, we are His

In spite of my failures and the utter mess that I make of my life every day, God claims me and says that I belong to Him. He knows us and welcomes all believers into his family through the cross.

Psalm 23
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
     He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
     He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
    for his name's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
    I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
    your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord
    forever.

As His sheep, we can trust that Christ, our Good Shepherd, will lead us to safety along paths of righteousness for His own glory. When we are down in deep darkness, we have nothing to fear. Even when the Thief is lurking, hoping to crush us, we are comforted and protected by our God. He abundantly provides for us until our lives overflow with goodness and mercy from His hand. We are safe and secure, knowing that we are cherished in his presence, now and for eternity. 

Praise God.


Respond

Have you been feeling anxious or fearful recently? How do you keep your heart grounded in the Gospel when it feels like the world is falling apart?

Prayer for the Discouraged Heart

Discouragement is something I struggle with consistently, yet I'm often surprised at how one piece of bad news or a disappointing interaction can drag me down so quickly. 

A little over a week ago I had the worst migraine headache I've ever experienced. I'm not sure what triggered it, but it was awful and I ended up having to spend almost the entire day in bed. Yuck.

A few days later, as I was still recovering, we got very disappointing news about an adoption situation our profile was supposed to be presented to. The details aren't important, but the information we received meant we wouldn't be presenting to that situation at all. Jason and I were both extremely disappointed. Between my lingering post-migraine headache and that emotional blow, I've pretty much been in a funk for the last week or so because of my discouragement. I've really been wondering how much longer we have to wait to become parents, fearing that it will never happen.

What about you?

Maybe you’re grappling with discouragement today too. You want to be content, but you’re filled with worries that your hopes will be dashed or your needs will not be met.

We become fearful and pessimistic when life doesn’t go as we’d hoped or planned. We forget God’s past faithfulness and lose sight of the hope we have in Him for the future.

You and I, we have to begin to view the world through a lens of gratitude instead of dissatisfaction. Using God’s Word as a template, we can ask the Holy Spirit to show us that God has cared for us perfectly in the past, and will faithfully continue to meet our needs for all time.

If you’re struggling with discontentment today, won’t you join me in asking God to help us find our satisfaction in Him, and thanking Him for faithful provision?

Today, I’m using Lamentations 3:-22-24 as a template for prayer and praise in the midst of discouragement:

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
   his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
   great is your faithfulness.
“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
   “therefore I will hope in him.”

Precious Lord, we thank you for your unceasing love and your unending mercies. Help us to remember them when we are tempted to despair. Remind us of your past kindness to us so that our hearts may be filled with gratitude and hope instead of dissatisfaction and fear.

We are overwhelmed by your infinite grace: how amazing that we can never exhaust it! Because of Christ, we, who are faithless and fickle, can become your children! We have nothing to offer you, yet you still provide for us with abundance!  We are forgiven and set free from sin, not because of our good works, but only because of your mercy! Because you, and you alone, are our portion, we have hope for the future.

We praise you with thanks!

Help us to treasure truth when discouragement creeps into our hearts. Open our eyes to your faithful love and mercy in our daily lives and in the truth of the Gospel so that we can proclaim it to others for your glory.

In Jesus’ precious name, Amen.


Respond

Do you ever pray using your Bible? What scriptures do you turn to as inspiration for prayer when you're feeling discouraged?